Should We Say 'You and I' or 'You and Me'? | Mastering Grammar

(Last Updated: 5 August 2024)

Image by Daniel Scully via The Mealstorm

You and I or You and Me? Which One Is Correct?

Which of the following questions do you think is grammatically correct?

How about Tony and I go throw you in the river?
How about me and Tony go throw you in the river?

An easy way to check whether you should use I or me is to take the other subject (i.e. Tony) out of the sentence and see how it sounds with both pronouns:

✅ How about I go throw you in the river?
❌ How about me go throw you in the river?

Hence,

✅ How about Tony and I go throw you in the river?
❌ How about me and Tony go throw you in the river?

Now let's try a different pair of sentences:

The ringleader told me and Tony to throw you into the river.
The ringleader told Tony and I to throw you into the river.

This time, should we say me and Tony or Tony and I? We can perform the same test to arrive at the right pronoun to use:

✅ The ringleader told me to throw you into the river.
❌ The ringleader told I to throw you into the river.

Hence,

✅ The ringleader told me and Tony to throw you into the river.
❌ The ringleader told Tony and I to throw you into the river.

As you can see from the examples above, when you are writing a sentence and have to choose between the subject (e.g. I, we, they, and he) and object (e.g. me, us, them, and him) forms of a pronoun, the sentence contains all the words you need to help you make your decision.

Note: Go do something is a colloquial expression used in American English. British English speakers would usually say go and do something instead:

✅ We have to go pick up our kids. (American English)
✅ We have to go and pick up our kids. (British English)

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Practice

In the following sentences, decide whether the pronoun should be I or me.

1. The poster was designed by I/me and my friends.

2. My friends and I/me designed the poster.

3. Dad is waiting for Mum and I/me at the entrance.

4. It's time for Chris and I/me to stop arguing.

5. Chris and I/me have been arguing for too long now.

Answer Key

1. me    2. I    3. me    4. me    5. I

Real-World Examples of Misuse

Removing Sasha and from the sentence makes it immediately obvious that me is required.

The pronoun I, together with my friends, forms the subject of the sentence, so we need to use I rather than me.
(Image Source: HKDSE English Language 2014: Examination Report and Question Papers)
(Also by HKEAA: 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15) 

1. Mum (or mom in American English) is the more commonly understood term in English.
2. The verb waiting requires the preposition for when indicating who or what is being awaited.
3. The object pronoun us can be used to replace Mum and me to make the sentence more concise.
4. The correct pronoun to use as the object of the preposition for is me, not I.
(Image Source: 英文文法精讀與練習)
(Also by the Same Author: 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13)

1. If today feels mostly over from your perspective, it is customary to use the past tense when referring to it (Today was my 10th birthday). However, if today has not ended yet and you are describing events that have occurred so far, then the present simple should be used (Today is my 10th birthday). This will require a change in the next sentence from I had a very nice day today to I have had a very nice day today.
2. The word today is redundant because the first sentence already establishes that it is today.
3. The word he is unnecessary and its deletion makes the sentence more concise and fluid.
4. However is more appropriate here to indicate a contrast, as it sets up the fact that despite being a busy doctor and often working at weekends, he is free today.
5. Me is the correct pronoun here, as it is the object of the preposition with.
(Source: Christian and Missionary Alliance Sun Kei Primary School)